Oh you beautiful confused being
you who clung to me for the past month
you who have lasted longer
than most of my LA relationships.
I see you every day and night
your full beauty
disrobed in front of me
when I see myself in the mirror.
I can’t even pronounce your name correctly
it’s as if a scientist named you in a lab room
with the full tortured knowledge
that you would cause such intense emotions
in every person you come across.
My friends tell me that I’m crazy
that there’s no conceivable way
I can possibly call you beautiful
that at best your mark on me
can make me a good candidate
for a Walking Dead zombie.
You’re a heinous bitch.
But through you,
I found a bizarre lesson
in humility and patience
while I sacrifice exercise and hot baths
to make you happy.
(even as I desperately find ways to get rid of you).
I guess I’m only thankful
that you find a great distaste
in my face
perhaps I should even thank you
for your penchant in every other part of my body
besides the place that matters most
in my ridiculously vain career.
Here’s to another month with you.
May it be sweet and short.
Really, really short.