HanSarang Thoughts #8: The Friend Who Is Always Too Busy

You know what I cannot stand?! Friends who do not keep in touch, return phone calls, or make any active effort to see how you’re doing. Other friends excuse this with: “Oh, you know s/he is just really flaky and gets so stressed out about his/her own life, just forgets to pick up his/her phone or keep in touch…but s/he loves and cares about you.” No. That’s BS. There is a certain threshold– beyond which that excuse becomes just that: a pathetic excuse. And then when you run into those “friends” in real life, they try to pick up from where they left off… Please. Give me a break. There are very clearly defined basic standards and expectations in every friendship, every relationship. After a certain point, flakiness or amnesia translate into disappointment and hurt feelings. – Shay

A friend of mine wrote this on my wall and I thought it was too good to just let it sit there. This entry is a continuation of my first entry for HanSarang Thoughts but from the specific angle of friends who don’t make time for you despite their words that tell you otherwise.

I gotta be real though, I know I can’t complain about this without being a hypocrite. I’m also pretty guilty of neglecting my friends and not getting back to them in a timely fashion. I used to rant how I don’t understand when friends can’t even send me an email, text, facebook wall message, or anything but then find myself being unable to do it as well. We truly do have a subconscious ranking system of which people in our lives are more important than others and no matter how much we argue with ourselves that we wouldn’t do such a thing, it’s just a plain fact.

But due to recent circumstances involving a friend who passed away, it becomes a priority that I do everything I can to respond back to people in a timely manner and to make more of an effort to be a real human being, in the sense that I go beyond just leaving a message on their Facebook wall. To at least take the initiative of calling them, hanging out, and be present in the moment with them. However, I realize soon enough that not everybody is on the same plane as I am and I can end up being disappointed quickly when others don’t return the favor or flake out on me entirely.

In this life though, I fully believe that it is best to give and keep on giving. While it’s important to look out for yourself as well and take care of your needs, you give love to the world and keep on giving, no matter how frustrating, disappointing, or upsetting it may be when it is not returned back to you all the time. To do this without any form of resentment is a truly difficult goal that will take years for me to even accomplish, due to my greed and pride issues that I have mentioned before.

I must always remember that nothing comes easy in life though, especially when it means something to me. The struggle, the fight, the hardships; these are what makes the value of success truly worth earning.


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