NPM 2012 #30: a stream that never runs dry

I think
while it is only natural I am concerned
about my own success and future
always wondering
if I’m gonna make it
if I’m gonna make it
if I’m gonna make it

I have to stop myself,
take a few deep breaths
as I look out beyond my own world
to continuously push myself
to give this love I have for me
and mine
to you and everyone I love,
to share whatever you may deem
valuable and helpful
whether it be my words,
whether it be my knowledge,
or whether it simply be my presence,
and expect nothing in return.

It is a challenge indeed
as I am not a perfect human being
I do get myself caught in the thinking
that if I put THIS much into the universe,
I should get THAT much back to me
and if you spit on my generosity
I will spit on you with something far more venomous
than my old kimchi and hamburger saliva
hurdling towards your ungrateful face.

After all
I must try to maintain positivity
in all aspects of my life
how I do anything
is how I do everything
how I treat others
even the ones I despise
is how I will eventually treat
the ones I love.

Everything is connected
in a weird, idontgetiteither sort of way
and if that is the case
I strive to keep myself open to love,
love for myself
but love for others,
a stream that never runs dry.

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