NPM 2012 #5: Patience, Breathe

[Thoughts running in my head as I attempt to play “Bach’s Air on G” on the violin with the frantic chaos I am about to describe that goes in my head:]

Patience
now that’s something I lack
after all,
I like fast
I like it to the point
I like it here
I like it now.

I need to get it done
trying to get this done
trying to get that done
going here and there
there and here
somewhere in between
pushing forward
pressing on
because I have to
because I must
because if I stop
I will never succeed
I will never make it
I will be mediocre for the rest of my life
and I fucking hate
being mediocre

And

And sometimes
sometimes I just need to stop.

Let the world pass
by me
for a change

because I see myself losing it.

Breathe.

I take my loved ones for granted
I take my own sanity for granted
I take the simple value of patience
as a sign of pathetic weakness
when in reality
it is a source of immeasurable strength.

So
Breathe.

[Picks up bow and violin slowly]
[Draw the first note]

Breathe.

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