insecurity moment #50412

insecurity starts creeping into my stomach
like nauseating worms hungry for confidence
wait, haven’t I talked about this already?

i have written countless poems like these before
yet it disappoints me once again
to talk about this again
dealing with this stupid shit AGAIN
knowing that my confidence isn’t fullproof.

On certain days and in certain conditions,
my strong walls can easily come rumbling down
making me look like a pathetic loser in front of all
a whining, ranting boy with no backbone
spineless,
weak,
unreliable,
stupid,
untalented,
mediocre,
all the terrible things I can think of for myself
that I know
deep inside me
that it’s not to be true
but when the walls are down
its hard to not ponder on them for just a moment.

My sense of worth

If
all my accomplishments,
     my talents,
     my reputation,
           were taken away from me,
would I still have
    my sense of worth?

Could I look at myself
Tell myself
that I am someone worth knowing,
someone worth respecting,
someone worth loving?

But as I look to my loved ones,
see them see me as I really am,
I smile softly to myself,
knowing that the answer is a resounding
Yes.