Ignorance, time freeze, and turtle ships

When ignorance is presented to you
in its glorious dumbfounded form,
your body jerks still in sudden fury
in its attempt to fight back,
show your beautiful strength,
your warrior glory,
but what really happens
is that you stumble
in a weak feeble flail
of a defensive comeback.

Now wouldn’t it be nice
if we can stop time
for infuriating moments like these,
play out ALL the possibilities,
see which one is the most satisfying,
choose the one that is most gratifying.

So here’s an example,
an example that occurred to me
where a simple, unassuming man,
a white thick accented French man,
came up to me while I was filling gas
and presented a Confucius style bow
in his earnest attempt
to get me moving
so he can fulfill his own needs quicker
(even though there was an empty gas pump

Confused by his bow,
I ask him disappointingly
why the bow was necessary
and he responds by bowing AGAIN
and demands that I just move my car.

As my blood boils to popping,

I calm down,
collect the forces of Patience and Love,
and gently tell him
there is a nearby gas pump he can use
and that I will be done shortly.


I do absolutely nothing
and just stand there.


I curse like a soggy pirate gangsta
and make him scamper away.


I go straight into his face
and yell like a deranged banshee.


I go straight into his face
call upon my spiritual ancestors
with their gigantic turtle ships,
bulldoze his helpless self with their mass,
smother overly spiced kimchi on his eyes,
and then do some taekwondo shit
over his still quivering body.

Now if only I can pull off the last option,
it would’ve been magnificent!

But if I had a choice,
I wish I can instill in him
an instant clear understanding
that ignorant shit like that
puts a damper on my struggle,
for I am
not some Oriental pushover,
not some apathetic exotic stereotype,
but a normal human being.

So what choice did I choose?
I went for the soggy pirate gangsta
and made that motherfucker scamper off to his car!
That’s right, you just fucked with the wrong Asian!


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