Writing down my career paths and dreams
to actualize the driven, persistent actor
that burns and dances inside me,
I have come to realize that
I make no mention of any ambition
to be a touring spoken poet.
Do I no longer have the hunger to do this?
Am I thinking it’s impossible to do both?
Have I given up wanting to be a spoken poet?
I feel like I’m playing favorites
over my imaginary children of ambition,
terrified that I will ignore and neglect
the poet child,
staring at me
and about to release
a big cry.
But wait,
what does it even to be a spoken poet?
Do I have to be travelling nationwide and going on tours?
Do I have to win numerous slams, competitions, and achieve scholarly and street recognition?
Do I have to be hippity hoppity to sound trendy?
Must I use big, grandiose visual words to show people how deep I am?
What does being a spoken poet
really, REALLY mean?
Is the title of spoken poet
reserved only for those folks?
Or am I already a spoken poet
for just experiencing life to the fullest,
and willing to expose my demons and flaws,
my countless awkward moments,
and my deepest fear that I may be abandoned by those I love?
Rhythm and flow,
Structure,
Visual metaphors,
and Blah..
I guess there is importance to that
but ultimately,
isn’t poetry’s ultimate purpose,
tied with the ultimate idea of being an actor?
The shared ideal is to be comfortable on our naked vulnerable self,
and connect to the people around us.
Keep it simple,
keep it steady,
keep it raw,
and keep it real.
Yeah.
I don’t think
I have to play favorites after all
and so I breath a sigh of relief
and I can pick up my poet child
and love him with no hesitation.
HanSarang Poetry 