Ready

I need to be ready for everything in life
I have a need, a desire, an obsession
to be absolutely prepared for everything
that Life or Fate or God or Allah throws at me
I hate to be caught with my pants down
because I don’t want to be trampled upon accidentally,
brushed aside instantly,
or dismissed so easily.

I crave control
I crave decision
I crave power
I crave all the things that give me
an advantage
of my own destiny.

When things don’t
quite
go
my way
I tense up like a winding spiral coil
that scrounges into a tight mass
and all of that
pent up tight energy
then spirals out of control.

I become restless
I lose sight of all things
I become a creature of chaos
and become an unpredictable force
that blazes and roars into a frenzy:
the true defiant expression of my untame soul.

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