Finding purpose

I realize how green I am to the corporate world
and in this corporate world that I occupy
I tell myself I’m only here to pay the bills
buy food to make terrible homecooked meals
buy gas for my dumpy used Honda car
buy excessive Cinnabons to make myself feel better
buy whatever I need to get
to become a so-called working actor.

But today was a reminder
a reminder that in this world,
hard work and experience can turn into vapor
at the mere whim of money and inconvenience
just a snip snip here
just a snip snip there
all done to make the company more
“efficient”
while completely apathetic that the person
may have given their life to the company
to support their family and kids.

Now, it’s all gone.

It makes me wonder,
what if Life was just a big corporation?

In the end, we all die
so are we working hard just to die?
If so, what is the point of it all?

What is the purpose of me trying so hard
to be an actor or poet or even alive
when it may mean nothing
in the grand scheme of things
or even right now?

Do I sound suicidal when I say this?

If so, it is not my intention
to scare any of you all
for I am fully aware of the beauty Life can offer.

But today,
just for today
(and maybe the next few days)
I am keenly observing
the dark shades painted over my heart
the darkness that reminds me of
heavy thunderstorms raging across the sky
the storms that make me stop in my tracks
and admire the frailty of my life
and how I must make the most out of my life.

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2 comments

  1. Olivia · October 30, 2010

    Intense imagery- breathtakingly amazing..

  2. Olivia · October 30, 2010

    Hello, how are you?
    you are invited to join our poetry community, a place for poets to share and encourage!
    Jingle Poetry : http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/
    Our Monday Poetry Potluck is open from Sunday 8pm to Wednesday, 8am.
    Write a poem fitting our week 8 theme (Halloween), post it, and link in to our potluck post as soon as we are open, that’s how you get the best possible feedback.
    We value your contribution and cherish your poetry talent.
    Let me know if you have further questions..Hope to see you then.
    xoxox

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