A Rant against the Asian Community

What I am about to say next
will come off as a pissed off rant
but I say all of this out of love,
as fucking crazy as that sounds
so I must make it clear
that despite these harsh words
it does not mean
I hate my Asian community
no, I love them
like I love my family
but like my family
they drive me fucking crazy
and because of that,
I need to get this negative shit off my chest
and hold nothing back.

If they don’t like me
or they hate me because of
what I have to say now
at least I was being honest
to say what I need to say
to take the step forward
and let it be known.

So here goes:

I’m sick of my fellow Asian artists who think they’re hotshots
just because they won some Asian lifetime achievement awards
was featured in some minor guest role in a Hollywood movie
performed at some community event with lots of other Asian people
and let it get to their heads that they actually made it
and can treat me like shit because of their “success”
“Success” my ass, you’re just a big fish swimming in a shitty little pond
so get off your mighty high Asian horse
before I knock you down from it.

I’m sick of my fellow Asian activists who are so holier than thou
married to their pride in how expressive and opinionated they are
that when I disagree with them
they look at me as if I’m sort of traitor or an uneducated fool
motherfucker, I don’t give a shit what you think
or how much more bullshit you may think you know
you’re just a human like me and you’re not any more enlightened
so wipe that smug progressive condescending look off your face.

I’m sick of my Asian elder folks
who think that just because I’m young
they have the right to be patronizing
tell me that I have not seen the world
or that I don’t know my Asian American history
I may be young
and I may have a lot to learn
but you being older doesn’t necessarily make you smarter
it just makes you old
so don’t you dare try to pat me on my head
and tell me that I don’t know shit
because I am going to bite your hand if it gets near me.

I’m sick of my Asian peers
who constantly try to shut me up
telling me that I’m rocking the boat
for making too much noise or attention
chastise me for being too serious
that I need to take these humiliating Asian jokes
like they’re the best things in the world
I’m incredulous that they are so
ignorant of where they are standing on their two feet
wake the fuck up, will you?
open your eyes and realize that you’re not white
nor will you ever pass off as white
so stop pretending you are
and dismiss your own cultural heritage
just so you can get a white person to like you better.

But ultimately, I’m sick of my Asian community in general
who don’t even understand what Asian really means
that Asia isn’t just yellow people, it’s all of Asia
and yes that includes Desis and Iranians!
We’re somehow really good at bickering amongst ourselves
with Asian this and Asian that
afraid to let our model minority stereotype go
afraid to criticize our own people
because we’re afraid that we will hurt their feelings
okay seriously, where do you think growth comes from
if it isn’t for honesty?
we are so incubated within ourselves
that I feel like I’m being suffocated by my own roots
and while it is important
to remember where one comes from
let me bring in a lame simile and use trees
because trees, the ones that make it,
reach their magnificent heights
because they go through adversity
and go through all sorts of changes
as a result of their struggle,
they GROW.

Okay.
I’m done ranting now.

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4 comments

  1. Narinda · October 22, 2010

    Strong words. Sends mixed messages in the reference to the community circle as a “shitty little pond” and then ending with “love” for those who are being criticized.

    When we reflect on how we want to see other people grow, we also have to look at how we want and need to grow ourselves. Outward critique needs to be accompanied by sincere introspection.

    That said, this was titled “Rant,” after all.

  2. ClassicalLiberal · October 22, 2010

    you should now write a poem about Love for the asian community. this one was all kinds of negative. lot of positive things about being asian and the progress asians have made.

  3. Mike · October 22, 2010

    WoooOWw.

    Definitely raging here.

    There ARE indeed too many people who rely on the Asian American community for validation and approval. They marginalize their work to a safe crowd, secretly tormented by the knowledge it wouldn’t fly outside a vacuum of like-minded people.

    It’s good that you’ve pointed it out to the Asian American community.

  4. Keshav Ram Narla · October 23, 2010

    ok..now what?

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