Wrong Side Of The Bed

I woke up today
groggy and pissed
angry, bitter, and
horny as fuck
refusing to get up
wishing to wrap myself
in the cocoon of my bed.

There is a saying that goes:
“you woke up on the wrong side of the bed”
but really, it doesn’t make sense in my head
for truly, there is only one side of this bed
have you seen it? It’s not that large of a spread.

The term makes as much sense
as why I happen to be a messy monster
snarling and thrashing in his throne
unwilling to step outside into the world
and everything just PISSES me off.

Having interactions with friends and colleagues
are hostile and major hindrances to my mood
Eating food seems like a waste, why can’t I just
let my stomach open up and eat anything
no, fuck that stupid noise
I hate cooking, cooking takes too much time
I rather just not eat and starve
because I don’t give a flying donkey shit
look at me, I’m yelling into the empty living room
roaring and barking at the air for no reason.

The word “fuck” sounds like sweet music to my ears
as I repeat that over and over in the shower
over and over as I walk around naked in the kitchen
and into the bedroom where I eventually put on some clothes
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fucuckuck
there, I think I feel a bit better
wait no, I still feel pissed.

Now, must punch the pillow
start thrashing like
a temper tantric juvenile asshole
start dancing like
a crazy hyperactive laser bunny!

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