Finding the Humanity

Isn’t it just fascinating
that Facebook is now
a tremendous force
to be reckoned with?

How a small college friendship site
has become the go-to social means
for which society depends upon
for nearly everyday social interactions?

I acknowledge that I have depended on
this little social networking site
for things beyond just keeping up
with classmates I haven’t spoken to
in over 10 years
with college acquaintances that
most likely I will never talk to again
with ex-girfriends and hookups
that I immediately defriend in awkwardness.

Facebook has become my official means
to getting to know the vast number of people
here in this City of Angels
but after a while of constantly
connecting
promoting
informing
discussing
status updating
and liking
I have lost the humanity of it all.

In a place where it thrives on “connection”
I needed something more than just
artificially knowing what’s going on
with another person’s life
beyond just staring at their picture albums
and status updates that tell me only
a tip of the vast iceberg that is their life
a life that I will not bother to explore further.

I lost myself in the mad networking of information
and me, who has been considered a Facebook whore,
has disconnected myself from the whole thing
and now
now
there is a freedom I have never felt before
where I am motivated to get to talk to people
more so than ever people in a way
that I truly want to get to know them
and encourage others to do the same.

We still got our phones
we still got our emails
we still got our lives
and
each other
so while I may ponder
on the possibility of returning
I got my own life to live
and I’ll live it to its fullest
without the interruption
of any trivial status updates
that can put a 142 character limit
on my life right here.

Advertisements

My Adolescent Fantasy

Britney Spears.
Oops I did it again.

With her,
My adolescent fantasy
came into existence
exploded into sheer madness
as I discovered my own body
with her music
and more specifically,
her front CD image cover
that made me use
Kleenex tissues in ways
that I have never them before
and the experience of
doing such a sensual self-gratifying act
was quite addicting.

Oops.
I did it again.

Greed

There is more to life that I want
I want more than what I have now
I want recognition
I want power
I want respect

I want the admiration of everybody
who speaks my name.

I want to go to a VIP lounge club
wearing my
worn sneakers, plain t-shirt, and jeans
simply because I can.

I want to be that guy
whose name alone
would make people
come in droves.

I want it all
and I want it now.

This other side of me

There is a whole side of me
that kicks in once in a while
a side of me that feels
like a stranger that on
any given day
I would not associate with
at any level
but when he happens
to be me
it becomes an interesting struggle.

All I can know is that this side
is cold, cruel, and merciless
indifferent to the world around me
not giving a fuck what I do
or how much of a dick I seem to embody
at this point, nothing really matters
because this world can just go fuck itself.

I’m writing and saying this out loud
in this stranger I am being at this current moment
possibly regretting what I said the next day
but fully realizing that this is a part of me
a part of me I’m not too proud of
a part of me that I know
that seizes into gear when
a tremendous sensation kicks in
a feeling that I’m being
ignored
dismissed
patronized
so I compensate for this insecurity
by putting a icy cold mask over my face
freezes my heart to a standstill
and look through the world in
an unforgiving freezing glare.

Give

The power of giving
is a tremendous gift
all the positive energy you have
for another person,
tell them.

But don’t let it stop there.

All the negative energy you have
for another person,
tell them.

The power of giving is about
giving everything you got
and holding nothing back
that lies in between the crevasses
of your heart.

For the bridge between two people
can only be crossed and met
when it is clear and strong
when all the pent up energy
whether it is
gratitude, joy, admiration, or love
fear, intimidation, jealousy, or hate
let it go
and let the other person know.

You may tell yoself
that this giving
should only be for the few
your closest friends
and perhaps your family
but completely off-territory
for acquaintances and business associates
but why restrict yourself
from the possibility
of a beautiful friendship that can come to be
forged by complete honesty?

So give.
give everything you got.

An Open Letter to the Goddess of Asian American Art

To my dear beloved Goddess,

I just want to make it clear
that I have the utmost respect for you
and sincere appreciation for your beauty.

Because of you, thousands have dared
to express themselves openly,
reveal their souls and demons,
and challenged the expectations of society
to be something more than
doctors, lawyers, and accountants.

For that, I love you
and will always love you.

But I must be frank with
what I must say next
and if I hurt your feelings,
it is not my intention to do so
so please listen to what I have to say
because it is only out of love that I say this:

As beautiful as you are,
I feel your beauty does not truly shine
for you have many followers
who create art in your name
but fail to put their heart & soul into it;
they declare their devotion to you
only because of your origins
and not because of your divinity.

But the worst part of it all
is that you encourage them to do so
because you don’t want to hurt their feelings
for you are far too gentle and concerned.

I know our community is few and small
but if we are to truly excel in this world
we cannot succeed in our mission
of spreading the Word
when the Word stays trapped amongst us
and coated with insincerity and false praises.

Your followers declare me a heretic
for they believe I am calling you a cheap whore
but I say only what I am saying now
not out of malice or spite
but out of honesty and love
because it is I
I who have true love
that will have the courage
to speak my thoughts openly.

I say this to you
because I believe your beauty
can shine just as brightly
amongst all the Gods & Goddesses
that you are kin with,
because I believe you do not
need to be pitied
or looked down upon
but stand tall with your head held high
this can only happen when you have
the courage and the resolve
to uphold a standard that we
we as Asian Americans
must work hard to achieve
and be open to all forms of criticism.

Despite my harsh words,
know that you are my muse
who saved my life
when you extended your
gentle soft hand to pull me
out of the darkness

Remember that I am
and always will be
one of your most devoted
and honest
followers.