Koreans, Part I

I think I’m racist
against my own race
against other Koreans
which is odd
because as a Korean myself
I should naturally
love my own people.

Now, before you say anything
I can tolerate an individual
but I am not inclined
to develop some
Kimchi connection
just because we’re both Korean.

When I see a group of
these
Koreans
all huddled together
speaking their
exclusive Korean
mumbo jumo
I get an icky shudder
all over my body.

It’s worse when
When I’m in a room
full of them
I want to yell and
crawl out of my skin
because when I see them,
I rather jump out the window.

I can’t take it anymore!
I need an explanation
why I feel this way!

Do I feel this way
because I have no grasp
of the Korean language
and I get insecure of myself?

Do I feel this way
because I am disconnected
from their culture
and their way of life?

Do I feel this way
this way
because I believe Koreans are
narrow-minded
conformist
prejudiced
racist
hates everybody
the angriest Asians in the world
beats up people when you don’t bow your head
or put “yo” at the end of your sentence?

Or do I feel this way
because the discontent
lies deeper within
the core that I am afraid
to uncover?

Does my anger at my own people
reside in the possibility
that I hate myself?

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