I’m ten years old
feisty, stubborn, walking menace
pissed off at my mother (again)
I’m lying down on the grass
crying to myself.

I take a deep breath
wipe my tears away
and take note of the
the rolling green hill I’m on
the cool breezy autumn air I feel
the rustling of the trees I hear
the wet sweet dew of the grass I smell
the magnificent clouds I see.

I lose myself staring up into the sky
and get a strange conviction
that gravity will turn into levity
and I will fall upwards into the clouds
and embrace the white fluffiness
I’m waiting for it to happen any moment
but after an hour of waiting
and mighty will power concentration
I’m still grounded into the grass
and I feel a slight pang of disappointment
which is quickly forgotten
as my imagination comes to my rescue
and give me shape-guessing games
to keep my emotions busy and playing.

pirate ships
these are the shapes I see
and then
I see a large mama nimbus cloud rolling by
chasing after several smaller clouds
and I think about my mother
who must be worried about me

I take another deep breath
get up off the grass
brush off the grass strands
and hitchhiking ants
look at the clouds one more time
smile to myself and tell them
“I will be back tomorrow”

and return back home.


Dance the Night Away

There are times
when I got the blues
when I’m down and low
when I’m high strung out
when I’m enraged
that writing poetry,
eating Cinnabons,
or jerking off
just won’t do.

I need something to remind me
the joy
the exhilaration
to be alive
to be present
to just be
so give me some sweet, pulsating
hard hitting house music
and let it take me from there.

I step into the dance floor
allow the vibrations from the bass
the fast paced rhythms
the chaotic beats
to flow right into me
I close my eyes
to take it all in
let the beats flow
right out of me
in the form of pure

When I dance
there is no
there is only

All these negative emotions
they are expelled out me
but as they are released into the open
they become frigid with loneliness
I warmly invite them to come join me
but they want to dance in a frenzy
so I clear the space of any pesky people
as there is no room for them
with my wonderful dancing partners here

and together
we dance
we dance
we dance
the night

Dark Energy

There are dark energies
all around me,
surrounding me.

I can feel it
permeating all throughout the air.

I feel like I’m going crazy
and I know I can just stop
but I have to persist
in order to truly
understand these dark energies
make sense of them
talk to them
understand them
while making sure
that I don’t become


Bittersweet Life

Inspired by The Verve’s “Bittersweet Symphony”

I sometimes look at my past
imagine all the different ways
I could split and veer myself into
be a different man than I am today
be a million different people
from one day to the next
each day a wishful longing,
a longing unfulfilled.

Never content, never satisfied
I go through my life like a dream
blinking my eyes constantly
to see if I will wake up from this
monotonic sluggish dream
the hard truth that I refuse to take
any control over my reality
any resolve to change.

I had to realize
I was hurting in the inside
my pain too great to unfold
but one day
unlike all the other days
I heard a sound
a sound that recognized my pain

The sound released a ringing
A high-pitched ringing
that crept
that slithered
slowly into my ears
grew in size and volume
in such enormous monstrosity
the pressure caved into me
squeezing my soul tighter
and tighter
I let out a scream
a scream that shattered my fake faces
a scream that drove the ringing out.

I stood still
blissful nothingness
blissful emptiness
opened my arms
to allow Silence embrace me
and as we held each other
I let the melody come into me
I let the melody shine into me
let it cleanse my mind
and finally be free.

My Verse in Life

I remember this quote from Dead Poets Society,
where the teacher John Keating tells his students:

“That you are here – that life exists, and identity;
that the powerful play goes on
and you may contribute a verse.
What will your verse be?”

When I first watched this movie
back in the confusing years of adolescence
or any muse of self-expression
simply did not have a place,
there was just no room.

The room was unfortunately occupied,
occupied by some dumb guy
who called himself Self-Hatred
he never paid rent,
but made very loud noises
and destroyed everything in our room,
which included my favorite teddy bear
and cherished memories of genuine happiness.

He was such a destructive and annoying entity
that i couldn’t let out a free thought
or feel safe around him
and while this movie quote was awe-inspiring
The awe could not find its place in me
once again,
no available room
no available freedom.

Years later
with the lousy roommate kicked out
by my shiny boot of confidence
the room is now available
for this beautiful quote
to decorate the room
with its infinite skilled fingers.

I now know what my verse will be
to the point that if
I die a year from now
I surrender myself
to my words
my self-expression
my creation that will be

Love Thy Own Poems

you just can’t help
but compare your poems
to that of others
and wonder to yourself
how much cooler it is
to read any other poem
than your own.

You tell yourself:
It has more depth,
It’s more powerful,
It flows better,
It’s just simply

There’s a shield too
a shield of disassociation
when you read works
other than your own
you can avoid the judging ears
that sharpen like exacto knives
as soon as it is revealed
that what you are about to perform
is something that was birthed by you.

But your poems
are like your children
they may not be as pretty
or as talented as your neighbors’
(and in this case, your neighbors
are well-renowned spoken poets)
you may feel embarrassed to bring them out
but in the end
they are your children
they are your poems
they came from you
they came from your memories
they came from your blood & tears
they are your joy, your pride, and your sorrow
step up and love your poems.


High expectations float about in my mind
mountainous, looming, and endless
they stand right next to me
in days of restlessness,

I want to be something more
than what I am right now
but I can’t help it when
these setbacks and rejections
make me feel more
spinning slowly
but surely
out of control
round and round it goes.

I need to throw
a wrench into my fear
to stop the madness before
it takes me apart
before I crash land into
the gloominess of Despair
a lame theme park offering
roller coaster rides of
and recycled vanity candies.

“This too shall pass”
is what I would say to myself
but my expectations sits on me
and I go about
spending my Friday nights alone
cooking instant ramen,
add some bacon & eggs for comfort
watch pointless TV
do anything mindless
to help me get away from myself
books, I stray far from
I can’t deal with anything
remotely intellectual or profound
it will only depress me

But at the very least
I can write these words out
I can say these words out
though they won’t make much sense
I can at least put my discontent
out into a visible form
of lines and shapes
let it look upon itself
and decide to take a rest for today.